monitoring the idiots in sports – fair and balanced


January 19

Super Bowl prediction: a snoozer – Nothing new. I fell asleep during last year’s Super Bowl. This year, I predict New England defeats Carolina 9-3.

posted by munger to Whatever at 11:54 P.M. EST     No comments

January 6

So Pete Rose bet on baseball – This news is the most overrated shock in years. Where’s the surprise over this? And so he lied. Yeah, okay. I’m having trouble staying awake over this. This will be my most boring story of 2004. Few topics, however, fire up sports fans more than the Pete Rose-Hall of Fame debate. Talk radio hosts, TV blabbers, and writers love it. When it’s slow, bring up Rose. In case of emergency, break glass. I hate that this great gambling revelation had to happen now, during the NFL playoffs. Why couldn’t this crud wait another month when there’s nothing worthwhile in sports going on? – More>>

posted by munger to Ex-Jocks at 4:54 P.M. EST     1 comment

January 2

USC Trojans: National Football Champs – USC thumped Michigan 28-14, but the Wolverines were never a factor in the game. USC was up 21-0 early in the third and 28-7 early in the fourth quarter. Before the Rose Bowl, USC was ranked No. 1 in both human polls — the writers and coaches. That’s good enough for me. The coaches don’t have a choice on how to vote after the bowl games are finally done, which will be sometime in mid-February. The Bile Communist System commands the coaches to vote for only one team, the winner of the Sugar Bowl. Actually, the BCS seems more like an Iraqi election when Saddam was in power. If LSU wins, I guess the Tigers can “claim” a share of the title. If the Sooners win, then they are simply the winners of the Sugar Bowl and nothing more. Congrats to the USC Trojans, the 2003 Div 1-A National Football Champs.

posted by munger to Schools at 1:20 P.M. EST     1 comment

December 31

Kobe’s rape case is AP’s top sports story – Obviously the AP as a source of sports information is now questioned. I didn’t realize rape or possible rape was a sport. Kobe Bryant’s rape case is a ‘news’ story that just happens to involve an athlete, but it’s definitely not a pure ‘sports’ story. The Florida Marlins winning the World Series or the Cubs’ playoff collapse or Lance Armstrong’s fifth Tour de France win or whoever won the other major championships would be true ‘sports’ stories. The AP produces nice manuals for writing, but they are dunderheads in this instance.

posted by munger to Media at 11:55 P.M. EST     2 comments

Useless Dillon won’t be missed in CincyRunning back Corey Dillon cleaned out his locker at Paul Brown Stadium Monday and told the Cincinnati Enquirer he expects to be released or traded. He added that he would rather not return for an eighth season in Cincinnati despite the two years remaining on his contract. His teammates were not exactly weeping to see him go. “Get him out of here, man, because some of that stink is still around here, and you can smell it in close games like [Sunday’s loss to the Browns],” said offensive tackle Willie Anderson, referencing the peculiar odor of the Bengals’ former practice facility, Spinney Field. “We need passionate guys. If you don’t want to be here, get ‘em out of here, man. Bye. Good riddance.”

posted by munger to Athletes at 11:38 P.M. EST     No comments

Lions fire three coaches; Millen still around” “Those are three good football coaches, but sometimes things just don’t work out and you have to move on,” team president Matt Millen told the Detroit Free Press. You knew the Lions would be making some changes, but we’re still trying to figure out why Millen still has a job. The three coaches who were let go were all brought in during the Marty Mornhinweg era. The most curious dismissal was that of Williams, who used to coach Charles Rogers at Michigan State.”

posted by munger to Whatever at 11:31 P.M. EST     No comments

Spurrier throws in the towel – Old Steve couldn’t hack it in the pros. Couldn’t load the schedule with a bunch of patsies to run the score up on. In the few Redskins games I saw, Spurrier looked more confused than he normally does. He looked lost. He was out of his league. He tried and failed miserably, but at least he tried. I’m not surprised, however, that he failed. His record was 12-20 in two seasons with Washington. Time for Steve to do something useless like play golf.

posted by munger to Coaches at 10:48 P.M. EST     No comments

Idiot Horn speaks; nobody cares – Mr. E.T., Joe Horn of the Saints, has his panties in a bunch over the firing of“his” wide receivers coach. The Hornster spewed, I’m infuriated. That’s basically slapping me in the face, saying myreceivers coach didn’t get the job done… Why use my mentor as the scapegoat? What are you telling me? Basically, you’re telling me that you’re the main reason why we lost.” No, the world is saying Joe Horn is a butthead. Is Horn the only receiver on the Saints? Is Horn off his meds?

posted by munger to Athletes at 10:29 P.M. EST     No comments

December 22

Broadway, boozing, old fart Joe Namath hits on reporter – Was Joe plastered? “Joe Namath’s interview on ESPN was cut short when the Hall of Fame quarterback gave curious answers to Suzy Kolber’s questions. Asked by Kolber, ESPN’s sideline reporter, about what the team’s struggles meant to him, Namath replied: “I want to kiss you,” as he leaned toward her. Namath capped off the interview by repeating: “I want to kiss you.” Kolber then turned things back to the announcers in the booth.”

posted by munger to Ex-Jocks at 9:10 P.M. EST     1 comment

Bruin will miss whatever bowl” UCLA suspended starting safety Ben Emanuel II for the Silicon Valley Bowl for violating team rules. Without elaborating further, the school announced Emanuel’s suspension Monday.”

posted by munger to Athletes at 9:03 P.M. EST     No comments

Detroit Lions set NFL record for futility“The Lions took their place in the National Football League’s record book by doing what they do best — losing on the road. For the 24th consecutive time away from home, Detroit lost a game. The Lions’ last road win was a 10-7 decision over the New York Jets on Dec. 17, 2000, when Gary Moeller was the coach.” The one common thread during the losing streak: Matt Millen. “At this point, [Lions’ owner William Clay] Ford must fess up and admit he made a mistake in giving Millen keys to his car, even though Millen didn’t have any driving experience. Millen has crashed. The franchise is in need of serious repair.”

posted by munger to Pro teams at 8:40 P.M. EST     2 comments

December 17

Losing a football game is like being raped? – Are these moronic athletes trying to top each other? Oh damn, this comes with another worthless apology. After the Saints crushed the Giants 45-7 on Sunday, Giant linebacker Mike Barrow said, “I feel like I’ve been just violated. I don’t know what it is to be raped, not to be insensitive to people who have, but to me, this is my experience [of what it is]. It feels like they just held us down and just did whatever they wanted to us. It just felt bad.” Based on these comments, maybe it’s possible that a tie in sports is like kissing your sister.

posted by munger to Athletes at 10:21 P.M. EST     No comments

Rasheed Wallace claims conspiracy – The morons keep talking. “Wallace thinks that the white establishment of the league is exploiting young black athletes to enrich itself. [Rasheed said] ‘I ain’t no dumb-ass nigger out here. I see behind the lines. I see behind the false screens. I know what this business is all about. I know the commissioner of this league makes more than three-quarters of the players in this league. In my opinion, they just want to draft niggers who are dumb and dumber — straight out of high school. That’s why they’re drafting all these high school cats, because they come into the league and they don’t know no better.’ Sounds like Wallace and Jim McDermott have been getting together and swapping spit.

posted by munger to Athletes at 10:09 P.M. EST     No comments

Knuckle-dragging Matt Millen needs his cage cleaned – The Detroit Lions need to dump president Matt Millen. “He oversees a franchise that has spiraled downward to a 9-37 record under his watch. He called one of his Detroit Lions a “devout coward” in a radio interview last year. He has cleared out some talented veterans with no apparent or good plan to replace them. Many of his free-agent signings have been dismal, short-sighted and costly. Finally, this past Sunday, he used a derogatory term for gay males during an exchange with ex-Lion Johnnie Morton, now a receiver with the Kansas City Chiefs.” Millen called Morton a faggot. Millen gave a lame apology. So far, Matt has not been fined. profilesthe NFL’s inconsistencies. End-zone celebrations cause fines, but braindead comments like Millen’s don’t? – More>>

posted by munger to Ex-Jocks at 8:24 P.M. EST     No comments

Anal probe at Ohio State comes up clean“After an “impeccable” five-month investigation, a committee of Ohio State professors did not find any instance of academic impropriety involving Buckeyes athletes, the school announced Wednesday. A 10-person internal faculty committee to review athletes’ academic performances after The New York Times reported allegations in July that athletes had received preferential treatment and had cheated in class.” Let’s see, the school investigated itself and found nothing. I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

posted by munger to Schools at 8:03 P.M. EST     No comments

Chad Johnson demonstrates literacy – Well, now that I think about it, he probably had someone else write the sign for him. I mean come on, do you really expect someone like this boob to have that much intelligence? “Johnson then ran over to the south end-zone wall and picked up a orange sign that read: ‘Dear NFL, Please don’t fine me again!!!!! Merry Christmas.’ The NFL charged Johnson $10,000 for the materials to make the sign. It won’t stop Chaddy from proving to the world he’s a moron. “Chad Johnson, who plans to ignore the NFL’s guidelines on celebrations and self-expression.” It’s art. Give these jackasses government funding.

posted by munger to Athletes at 7:50 P.M. EST     No comments

Joe Horn calls bookie after TD – Yeah, he was verifying whether or not he took the game over. “After catching the second of four touchdown passes against the New York Giants, Horn was handed a flip-phone by teammate Michael Lewis, who pulled it out from under the padding used to protect the goal post.” Apparently, the NFL provided Horn with the phone bill. “New Orleans Saints receiver Joe Horn was fined $30,000 by the NFL.” Like dude, your phone thing so totally goes toyawn.

posted by munger to Athletes at 7:23 P.M. EST     No comments

December 9

Bruce Smith: selfish, pathetic jerk – Move over Warren Sapp, a new nimrod is in town: Bruce Smith. Talk about someone who is just hanging around for selfish reasons, that would be Bruce Smith, the has-been who I guess broke a record that means nothing to the rest of the world. “I know that I’m not second place any longer,” Smith said. “When they print up the football cards, they won’t say sacked second to such and such or so and so.” – More>>

posted by munger to Athletes at 2:36 A.M. EST     2 comments

Fix the BCS by not watching the bowl games – Want to change the BCS? Don’t watch the bowl games. That will never happen though. Sports dunderheads are too much like moths, flying into a bug zapper. Stupid. Sports geeks like being banged in the bunghole, then complain about it, then beg for more. Pro boxing and NCAA Div 1-A football. I rest my case. – More>>

posted by munger to Op-Ed at 1:57 A.M. EST     No comments

Miami (Ohio) screwed by the NCAA – An evil NCAA bowl configuration that should be eliminated:conference commitments. Miami (Ohio) finished the season ranked #11 in the final BCS poll, and they are playing in the lame-ass GMAC Bowl against Louisville in Mobile, Alabama on Dec 18. What the hell? If it was a basketball game, then fine. Forget the playoff for a second, because it ain’t gonna happen. But at the very least, to actually be fair, put the top 24 teams in the 12 best bowl games. – More>>

posted by munger to Op-Ed at 1:49 A.M. EST     No comments

Sooners suck major BCS wang – What else is there to say about this crap? Oklahoma sucked on the field last Saturday night when Kansas State embarrassed the Sooners 35-7. After the game, Oklahoma must have done some serious lip polishing and tougne licking on the USB and ethernet ports of the BCS computers. Or maybe on the computer dweebs who run that junk. What a farce. Sports fraud. Get crushed in the conference championship game and qualify for the national title game. Yeah, this system is working. Both “human” polls have it correct once again: #1 USC and #2 LSU. A few years ago, the computers selected Nebraska for the big game even though Nebraska didn’t even play in the Big 12 conference championship game. The human polls didn’t have Nebraska going to the title game that year. – More>>

posted by munger to Whatever at 1:25 A.M. EST     2 comments

December 6

Mailman suspended a game – “Karl Malone will not play Sunday against his former team, the Utah Jazz, after being suspended for one game by the NBA for elbowing Dallas guard Steve Nash in the head. Only the 11th game he will have missed in his 19-year career — seven because of suspensions; four due to injuries.”

posted by munger to Athletes at 11:08 A.M. EST     No comments

December 3

Browns head coach missing reality – The Cleveland Browns play in the Midwest Dregs division. The Browns were full of misguided confidence at the start of the season. But no surprise here that the Browns are now 4-8. Browns head coach Butch Davis talks like Cleveland is 8-4. Davis said, “We’ve got some shortcomings.” Yeah, and the whole nation gets to see them on Monday Night Football. Joy.

posted by munger to Coaches at 8:08 P.M. EST     No comments

Psychoblabologist wants to help the Raiders – Oh yeah, the Raiders are still terrible. Using this character’s services can’t hurt.“A sports psychologist believes he can help end the Oakland Raiders’ fragile psyche and is ready to step in. Dr. Richard Crowley, of Burbank, Calif., is offering his services, and even wants to meet with controversial owner Al Davis to see about incorporating his “Mental Mechanics” program into the 3-9 Raiders’ regimen to improve their performance. The Raiders say thanks, but no thanks. “Tell him don’t even worry about it. It’s a hopeless cause right now,” Pro Bowl right tackle Lincoln Kennedy said Wednesday.” – More>>

posted by munger to Whatever at 7:54 P.M. EST     No comments

Diving coach resigns due to 1960’s mistake – “North Carolina State diving coach John Candler has resigned from his coaching position amid allegations of misconduct 37 years ago. An investigation into Candler’s past was triggered by an e-mail message sent Nov. 19 to university Chancellor Marye Anne Fox’s office by Jane Schneider, 53, of East Lansing, Mich. According to circuit court records from Washtenaw County, Mich., a John Candler from Columbia, S.C., and formerly from Ann Arbor, Mich., was sentenced on Nov. 30, 1966, after pleading guilty to indecent liberties with a 12-year-old girl. He served five years of probation.”

posted by munger to Coaches at 7:35 P.M. EST     No comments

Blazers dump troublemaker Wells – “Volatile forward Bonzi Wells was traded by the Portland Trail Blazers to the Memphis Grizzlies on Wednesday for guard Wesley Person and a conditional 2004 first-round draft pick.” (And a six-pack of PBR). “Wells, averaging 12.2 points, 4.7 rebounds and 2.7 assists, was stripped of his co-captaincy and suspended two games earlier this season for cursing at coach Maurice Cheeks. Wells also was fined last month for making an obscene gesture at a fan after a loss to Philadelphia. Last March, Wells was suspended one game for conduct considered detrimental to the team.”

posted by munger to Athletes at 7:25 P.M. EST     No comments

NFL ref fined for incompetence – “Referee Tom White was fined $2,600 for failing to restart the clock at the end of the Seattle-Baltimore game on Nov. 23, a mistake that contributed to the Seahawks’ 44-41 overtime loss. The fine represented half of White’s game check. The entire crew was reprimanded for its performance during the game, presumably hurting its chances to officiate in the playoffs.”

posted by munger to Officials at 7:21 P.M. EST     No comments

Ex-Baylor hoops dunderhead working with kids – That would be Dave Bliss, the former head coach of the troubled Baylor men’s basketball team. “… who resigned after acknowledging that he broke NCAA rules by making payments to Patrick Dennehy and another player, is working again. Bliss is a volunteer boys basketball coach for a suburban Denver high school team, on which his son plays.”

posted by munger to Coaches at 7:18 P.M. EST     No comments

November 24

Cav suspended for potty mouth – “The Cleveland Cavaliers Monday suspended forward Ira Newble for one game after an argument with head coach Paul Silas. Newble, who will miss Wednesday’s game against the Hornets, was apparently involved in a profanity-laden argument with Silas. He and Silas exchanged insults after Cleveland’s loss to the Hawks on Saturday.”

posted by munger to Athletes at 3:40 P.M. EST     No comments

Barry Bonds’ trainer housing steroids – It’s getting too close to home for there not to be a connection between Bonds, bulk, and home runs. “Investigators raiding the home of Giants slugger Barry Bonds’ personal trainer found anabolic steroids. Also found were records detailing the use of performance-enhancing drugs by athletes. Information seized from [Greg] Anderson’s home — some in computer files, the rest in a manila envelope — contained names of athletes, along with types of drugs and the schedule on which they were allegedly administered.” Waiting for those names. The raid took place on Sep 5. I wonder if MLB knows the details? I wonder if MLB will try to influence someone to keep it quiet?

posted by munger to Athletes at 3:33 P.M. EST     7 comments